Thursday, November 30, 2006


Big, sploshy. Opened the door to get out to find a stranger asking for my flatmate. When he stood in to the light I recognised him and he almost certainly got a big whiff of my massive stinky poo.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Large, upstairs toilet, just before a shower so was totally naked.

Monday, November 27, 2006

16:50, massive.

Downstairs, dad phoned just as i was finishing so had to wipe my arse and wash my hands pretty quick.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


Making a cup of tea I figured that a poo would be just the right time for the tea to brew. It was a mushy sort of crap, a soft sausage. I thought about the Home Simpson shaped radio in the toilet. I never listen to it, I'm not really there long enough. But maybe my flatmate does, since he often clogs it up, I've seen his craps sat there and they must take a while to squeeze out.
He also hasn't paid the rent. Or bills.

Friday, November 24, 2006



Wednesday, November 22, 2006


21:35, my last big plop before the Ashes. Huge, stinky. Dark. I was thinking about Dottie the whole time.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Despite having eaten shit all,

Here is all the shit.
Friday I did not shit.
Saturday morning at twelve fifteen I had a solid small lump which was difficult to expell, in the downstairs toilet of a certain Vicarage in Lancing.
Sunday I had a large, soft, significantly smelly one, 14:25 in the only toilet in someone's toilet which had been hammered to bits quite impressively and for no apparant reason.
Monday at 12:35 I had an absolutely enormous turd that was probably my smelliest since starting the blog. Odd, since all I'd eaten between poos was two monster munch and a slice of toast.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


Another one upstairs, starting to wonder if I poo too often. Soft but on lump, easily passed, not so easily wiped but got there in the end. Probably due to eating far too much beef all day.

A lovely little story.

Involving lots of poo!

Yesterday, 16:45, Downstairs toilet, solid, not too smelly.

Today, 14:00, upstairs toilet, solid, lumpy, not much to wipe.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Type five, upstairs toilet, stinky as hell. Used the toilet paper i bought from lidl, having to walk in the pouring rain to get it. Legs still slightly damp. Toilet will probably smell bad for a good half hour.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Poo related.

I'm not sure if this is real. Quite possibly not.


Type 4, someone has found a last roll of toilet paper. I will have to go out and buy more. Downstairs toilet, soft, easily expelled.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


Upstairs loo, solid, lumpy, smelled like I'd been eating lots of meat. Nobody had got any toilet roll but someone had left a roll of kitchen towels in there so I had to use that. Not entirely pleasant.


One last night in some stranger's house and one this morning in the house I woke up in, 65 arabella street, downstairs.
Both solid and smelly.

Saturday, November 11, 2006


I knew I'd need one some time this afternoon, but I didn't want to have to go in the millenium stadium so I forced one out beforehand. Solid, larger than expected probably due to massive pizza intake late last night. Smelly but had a shower immediately afterwards so by the time anyone else could go in, the smell had pretty much gone.

12:30 AM

Seemed neccessary, though it was only relatively small in the end, 65 Arabella Street downstairs toilet, had been drinking. More solid than last two. Orange toilet paper.

Friday, November 10, 2006


Runny, over quick, easy to wipe. Smells awful, but upstairs toilet has a fan which should be able to cope with it.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Upstairs toilet (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v75/SirSandGoblin/PIC_0001.jpg)
Came a lot easier than last night's, straight out. Felt runny but lumpy on exit, though on looking was ano more than a shitty soup with clearly visible splatter. Had just eaten a bacon sandwich.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I went for a walk about 4:10

I had a poo in the downstairs of my own house. It was a slight struggle, I had to hold on to the sink. I had been listening to the Velvet Underground on my mp3 player on a walk I had just had and I still had my earphones in, as such European Sun was on as I was attempting this poo. It took a while. Sadly, I don't know where it rates on the scale since, once I had finally pushed it out, it was not visible in the toilet bowl. I have to assume that it was fairly solid. It made a "Sploosh" noise as it entered the water, one which indicated a solid, somewhat large lump of fecal matter. I used approximately twenty sheets of good quality toilet roll. I washed my hands thoroughly afterwards. flushed the toilet and left the seat down.
The toilet was one which flushes exactly as long as you hold the flush down for. I flushed for approximately five seconds after I thought the stool had vacated the bowl.


This blog will chart each and every poo I do.
I will be using the Bristol Stool Chart, developed by Heaton and Lewis at the University of Bristol and was first published in the Scandinavian Journal of Gastroenterology in 1997. Thank you Wikipedia.