I went for a walk about 4:10

5:10
I had a poo in the downstairs of my own house. It was a slight struggle, I had to hold on to the sink. I had been listening to the Velvet Underground on my mp3 player on a walk I had just had and I still had my earphones in, as such European Sun was on as I was attempting this poo. It took a while. Sadly, I don't know where it rates on the scale since, once I had finally pushed it out, it was not visible in the toilet bowl. I have to assume that it was fairly solid. It made a "Sploosh" noise as it entered the water, one which indicated a solid, somewhat large lump of fecal matter. I used approximately twenty sheets of good quality toilet roll. I washed my hands thoroughly afterwards. flushed the toilet and left the seat down.
The toilet was one which flushes exactly as long as you hold the flush down for. I flushed for approximately five seconds after I thought the stool had vacated the bowl.