Despite having eaten shit all,

Here is all the shit.
Friday I did not shit.
Saturday morning at twelve fifteen I had a solid small lump which was difficult to expell, in the downstairs toilet of a certain Vicarage in Lancing.
Sunday I had a large, soft, significantly smelly one, 14:25 in the only toilet in someone's toilet which had been hammered to bits quite impressively and for no apparant reason.
Monday at 12:35 I had an absolutely enormous turd that was probably my smelliest since starting the blog. Odd, since all I'd eaten between poos was two monster munch and a slice of toast.